The Ghost of You Pervades

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by MsJacquiiC, Dec 14, 2012.

  1. MsJacquiiC

    MsJacquiiC
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    The Ghost of You Pervades

    I lobotomize the memory of you
    #EverySingle #GoddamnDay,
    your eyeballs bulged,
    your bulbous head.

    The way our rhythms swayed to and fro, straying
    menthol-wild wisps, rhythmic smokerings
    of more madness. This air of our minds
    pulsating, a breath of life even on our
    unready tongues. We swallowed though.
    This picture

    a most delicious kernel
    of truth strung like the most
    cranberried of loves. (Is
    this Christmas? These

    Tinseltowns of awe too? These
    trees we're smoking? You
    shock me to the core.
    You again on about
    original sin and more,
    but nothing else, "Lord
    God! Nothing else,
    please horse
    of Troy.")

    If you were an apple. Boy
    oh boy! Worm,

    you seep into me. Make me weep in-
    to the crevice of our prepaid pain.
    Kleenex-brand facial materials dot our
    need for normalcy. These well-known tears
    of madness soak into our day-in-
    day-out, blown into a melody
    which is the dirt of us.

    And your bulbous head.
    You remind me of this one dude
    who'd "I'll ripple ya sheets! Wake. Quake. Shake.
    Shimmy! Slaughter you everso neatly....I'd
    finger-fuck your wild
    life," He'd say. "And think about blow-
    ing onto you."

    ("Meanwhile Back At Discovery Channel:
    Gripping, groping, knif-
    ing you! She's
    dead," says
    Dorothy's Lion.

    Cue ellipsis and no-fool moon
    with a rainbow.)

    These things, these thoughts,
    these songs that wish themselves into
    being even ignored even:

    They pervade.

    Yet! Wish I would thrive
    as to see you again:

    Your eyeballs bulged,
    your bulbous head.


    Copyright © 2012 Jacquii Cooke



    [fieldset=About This Poem]So - I've been writing this evening. My aesthetic tends to grasp onto the abstract and manually manipulate it as if mutual-respect with orgasm LOL.... So - "feel free to read between the lines" is what my Muse tackles me with.

    The poem is entitled "The Ghost of You Pervades" ---- I thought about entitling it "The Ghost of You Pervades You" - but thought lets try to keep it short. Needless to say - the piece is a little long - but, only because I cut it up into pieces :orc: Anyway... Comments, feedback, suggestions and the like will be appreciated.[/fieldset]
     
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  2. Mysty

    Mysty
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    Isn't it funny how we can love them and hate them at the same time?? Awesome write MsJacquii. These lines below say it all ....... and they are my favorite. :)



     
  3. MsJacquiiC

    MsJacquiiC
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    Thanks for taking the time to comment this poem MystyMysty -- I didn't think anyone would comment it.
    It's abstract and a little *all over the place* as it were...

    And yup. Love to love them and when hate willnot manifest ==> time to think lobotomy LOL
    I struggled with this actually. The first four lines of the poem is what came first. But I wanted this to be a love poem. So I simply drew upon the memory of what was a SERIOUSLY steamy love affair:

    Thick sexual innuendo/metaphor... Perhaps I write about the most delicious lobotomy ever performed :D
    Anyway - thanks for the poetic love.

    J.
     
  4. Ariono-jovan Labu

    Ariono-jovan Labu
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    buenos tardes mana? i felt this might be an erotic journey to marinate my sinful in like sour sipping sour acid de limónes & was no disappointed. simply the interpretations that slowly- seep within such aesthetics surrounding the abstract is intriguing as many traditional standards of meaning never seem so typical or trite. The intro stanza immediately sets pace the tempo, held me submissive in urgency to delve deeper within. The second/ third somewhat less fluid, jagged by means of format for me. Not sure if it was intentional, or this was simply how it was diced into image. An example how i actually read,


    " The way our rhythms swayed to and fro,
    straying menthol-wild wisps,
    rhythmic smokerings of more madness.
    This air of our minds pulsating,
    a breath of life even on our unready tongues.
    We swallowed though.

    This picture a most delicious kernel
    of truth strung like the most
    cranberried of loves.
    (Is this Christmas?

    These Tinseltowns of awe too?
    These trees we're smoking?
    You shock me
    to the core.
    You on again about
    original sin and more,
    but nothing else,
    "Lord God!
    Nothing else,
    please horse of Troy.")"

    Also enjoyed much of the imagery inserted,

    " straying menthol-wild wisps...
    This air of our minds
    pulsating, a breath of life even on our
    unready tongues...
    Cue ellipsis and no-fool moon
    with a rainbow.)"

    Couldn't help but chuckle a bit of your repetitive description of, "bulbous." nada like a trip back down nostalgia lane huh? can't wait to see what 2013 conjures you laureate. paz-
    p.s. never worry come length when quality accompanies. simply consider it more joy for readers to become voyeurs a lengthier- luv affair yeah.
     
  5. JONATHAN

    JONATHAN
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    "your bulbous head'

    are you referring to me Ms J cause I sure fit the bill, nyway oops sorry Im sure thats for me to know and others to experience so Ill just shut up but as I said earlier " This went straight down to my groin" ...
     
  6. MsJacquiiC

    MsJacquiiC
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    Ariono-jovan LabuAriono-jovan Labu - You shock me to the core with your response to this piece.. As a poet - I've always respected your work and to have you comment my poem as you have.... Well - I'm honored by your reaction.

    And yes - I do tend to lean all up on the abstract as if it were a crutch. I like to write where the double entendre is as thick as the life that makes such double entendre necessary. Traditional in that the emotion which inspired this poem is steeped in traditional love (or lust or both)... Abstract in that boy oh boy - Your comment about "held me submissive in urgency to delve deeper within" has just stirred an emotion within me --- Perhaps you are up for a lobotomy... MsJacq-style....? :LOL:

    As for the 2nd/3rd stanza... This entire poem was written rather spontaneously, within the scope of 20-30 minutes or so. I've yet to really edit it for clarity. I will one day though, as this is one of my own personal favorites of my writing.

    So mil gracias for the poetic love. And stop laughing at me - The multiple reflections on "bulbous head" is because I like things that are LARGE. :bunny:
     
  7. MsJacquiiC

    MsJacquiiC
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    Ha! If this went directly to your groin - You may need to see Dr. Jacq about that.
    You may need to get that thang straightened out. You know what I mean!!..??
    Take a couple of aspirins and cum see me again in the morning :sheeplove: LMAO
    Life may be a sickness. Yep.. But it's okay - perhaps we have each others cure!
    Love ya.
     
  8. Ariono-jovan Labu

    Ariono-jovan Labu
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    please forgive errors as i didn't know how to edit what seemed incoherent comments made first 'round... like i'd been typing in blinding- darkness yeah . but know you got something special here. 1-

    buenos tardes mana? i felt this might be an erotic journey to marinate my sinful side something like sipping sour acid de limónes & was no disappointed. simply the interpretations that slowly- seeped within, surrounded by such aesthetics the abstract was truly intriguing as many traditional standards of meaning never seem so typical or trite. The intro stanza immediately sets pace the tempo, held me submissive in urgency to delve deeper within. The second/ third somewhat less fluid, jagged by means of format for me. Not sure if it was intentional, or this was simply how it was diced into image. An example how i actually read,


    " The way our rhythms swayed to and fro,
    straying menthol-wild wisps,
    rhythmic smokerings of more madness.
    This air of our minds pulsating,
    a breath of life even on our unready tongues.
    We swallowed though.

    This picture a most delicious kernel
    of truth strung like the most
    cranberried of loves.
    (Is this Christmas?

    These Tinseltowns of awe too?
    These trees we're smoking?
    You shock me
    to the core.
    You on again about
    original sin and more,
    but nothing else,
    "Lord God!
    Nothing else,
    please horse of Troy.")"

    Also enjoyed much of the imagery inserted,

    " straying menthol-wild wisps...
    This air of our minds
    pulsating, a breath of life even on our
    unready tongues...
    Cue ellipsis and no-fool moon
    with a rainbow.)"

    Couldn't help but chuckle a bit of your repetitive description of, "bulbous." nada like a trip back down nostalgia lane huh? can't wait to see what 2013 conjures you laureate. paz-
    p.s. never worry come length when quality accompanies. simply consider it more joy for readers to become voyeurs a lengthier- luv affair yeah.[/quote]
     
  9. Ariono-jovan Labu

    Ariono-jovan Labu
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    "Perhaps you are up for a lobotomy..."

    lol... with or without anesthesia?
     
  10. Ariono-jovan Labu

    Ariono-jovan Labu
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    always fishing for gems mana...
     
  11. Mysty

    Mysty
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    Ms.J I came back to re read your poem and I have to say WOW .... the erotic slide of words the pictured is drew in my mind... It seems to me that you were trying to force out the memory of a love gone by and yet still have the sexual hunger for that love. I know how that goes lol. It is almost like a madness the urges that still linger in our memories and minds... but still I find it a very very good write.


    ps. I Favorited this one ... it is AN OUTRAGEOUS and AWESOME Write!!!!
     
  12. MsJacquiiC

    MsJacquiiC
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    With of course.
    Perhaps a blunt or three before the procedure as well LOL [​IMG]
     
  13. MsJacquiiC

    MsJacquiiC
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    Thanks for the favorite! And YES! My goal was to be outrageous with this one. I suppose I try to be outrageous with all of my poetry LOL

    And BINGO! --- It's all too difficult to push the memory of such a thorough love to the back of your mind - especially if in your mind - it still exists ((long story)) --- This poem is about a love that I will never get over unfortunately. I don't say never too often - but this time I mean it.

    Anyway - thanks again for the poetic love :hug:

    J.
     
  14. jakeminick

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    seems to me from reading that, shouldn't YOU be the apple? or put quotes around "if you were an apple", so another person is saying it. this poem seems to be an amazing, meandering, raw and satirical piece of primal-lust

    just thinking that "dirt" could be replaced by something more synonymous with waste....eh.....

    i find this fascinating because i'm basically clueless. i know i like the seeming dark comedy of it. i just can't "place it"...unless it's a girl that has a bulbous head...ah, hell. i don't know. great poem. peace and balance you shall have command i
     
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