The Fault Was Your Own

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Wind, Oct 20, 2012.

  1. Wind

    Wind
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    The Fault Was Your Own

    With these words,I wonder if I shall break your spirit.
    With these stones and stick,I plan to break you.
    With this bloody revenge,I will have you wholesomely.

    As you slap away m hand let's say our fear is only great toward me yet your cowardice actions are full of jokes

    You nothing more then an eye sore,To prideful to even realize that'll you'll fall break before the day is done.

    Tick tock,Tick tock.Your clocks running thin,for if I a prideful beast breaks I'll be sure to bring you with me.

    Ha,such a dirty creature do you think you can hold me using such unpleasant scene from a forgotten past?

    Of course not these be not your past but you near future,Repeating everything over and over until it to much to handle.

    Turn around and drink your poison. Even though your no more child you seem to carry a burden not you own,I will have no regrets ending you pitiful life.

    How about I become you poison and let me end you futile life.
    I will decided how I die and not let some stranger decided who I am.For that purpose I wield this sword.

    What a foolish person,to wield a sword for the person you love is what it is and not for the sake of some unseen future.How can you possible care of a future when you stick yourself in a shell and refuse to leave a past that has forgotten you already.

    When will you stop with your nonsense.I have no past therefore my future is chained up,perfectly awaiting me.Let me repeat your punishment so you know.

    As this we recite the lines as one.

    With these words,we will break out spirits.
    With steels and spears,we shall break our body's.
    With these bloody revenge,we have betrayed each other for the last time.
     
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  2. Mysty

    Mysty
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    wow .... and I thought I knew how to feel anger..... perhaps I know a healthier form. This is downright mean lol. I have taken the liberty of correcting grammar and such. I Hope you do not mind .. It does read clearer with the changes I made. You can use or lose them Wind. This is definately a powerful piece. Good job !


    The Fault Was Your Own

    With these words, I wonder if I shall break your spirit.
    With these stones and stick, I plan to break you.
    With this bloody revenge, I will have you wholesomely.

    As you slap away my hand let's say our fear is only great toward me yet your cowardly actions are full of jokes

    You are nothing more then an eye sore! To prideful to even realize that'll you'll fall, break before the day is done.

    Tick tock,Tick tock. Your time is running out for if I a prideful beast breaks I'll be sure to bring you with me.

    Ha, such a dirty creature! Do you think you can hold me using such an unpleasant scene from a past all but forgotten?​

    Of course not. These are not your past memories but your near future. Repeating everything over and over until it is to much to handle.

    Turn around and drink your poison. Even though your no more than a child you seem to carry a burden not your own. I will have no regrets ending your pitiful life!

    How about I become your poison and let me end your futile life.
    I will decide how I die and not let some stranger decide who I am. For that purpose I wield this sword.

    What a foolish person, to wield a sword for the person you love. It is what it is, not for the sake of some unseen future. How can you possible care for a future when you stick yourself in a shell and refuse to leave a past that has already forgotten you.​

    When will you stop with your nonsense. I have no past, therefore my future is chained up, perfectly awaiting me.​
    Let me repeat your punishment so you know.

    As this we recite these lines as one.

    With these words, we will break our spirits.
    With steel swords and spears,we shall break our body's.
    With this bloody revenge, we have betrayed each other for the last time!​
     
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  3. Wind

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    Though you say anger.There was no such thing when I wrote this.Weird I wasn't really sure what i was feeling but i know it wasn't anger.
    And thank you for the grammar check.
     
  4. MsJacquiiC

    MsJacquiiC
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    Seems angry to me too LOL - Angry and bitter, yet realistic in the sense that "I'll take this hideous life you have given me. Make my testimony and move on." So -- realistic in that you acknowledge what life (and apparently dirty bastards) has given you, stand stolid in the realization of it, head held high and move on...

    I'd say this piece were more therapeutic than angry, as I too have written such words whilst dealing with the anger bubbling deep within, as to assuage it, tempering what ordinarily would cause skin to boil as if burned.

    Anyway - this piece reads as if written by an extremely angry person :yes:

    Thanks for the share just the same WindWind and thank you MystyMysty for posting the corrections. I think without it - the grammar and spelling mistakes were just simply too distracting for me to read.

    J.
     
  5. Wind

    Wind
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    Ah,yes madness was all that was written in this.Though for what reason I can not even recall.And looking at the poem scares me to much to figure out.
     
  6. JONATHAN

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    I dont know what to say Im perplexed, Sure its good and blindingly brilliant in certain parts as you give anger free riegn but it took me to an ugly place and reminded of a few sons of bitches Im struggling to forgive and forget. Is that a positive thing .. most probably no but this piece does bring out something so its effective to say the least.
     
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  7. Wind

    Wind
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    <p>Is that so? I'm glad it does.I'd like to think that anger can be contained but I suppose not</p>
     
  8. jakeminick

    jakeminick
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    amazing. pure delivery, with the spellings errors that people can easily fill in. "I will have you wholesomely", seems so sadistic, the honesty delivery makes it justified.

    Ha, awesome. is that like a concept of unity?



    i don't understand this. please explain.

    great poem seeming to be about personal conviction and binary hypnotism.
     
  9. Wind

    Wind
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    <p>
    </p>
    <p>&nbsp;</p>
    <p>&nbsp;</p>
    <p>&nbsp;</p>
    <p>&nbsp;</p>
    <p>&nbsp;</p>
    <p>&nbsp;</p>
    <p>Very I'm bit of a sadist</p>
    <p>&nbsp;</p>
    <p>And the second piece mean that instead of going down alone to drag someone else with them..like if one tumbles makes sure to grab another person to join..</p>
    <p>&nbsp;</p>
    <p>And the last part....it bit of....Let's say ...it was made to say meaning....a child who has to take over something are own something that was never their but the ones before them and that the person will take their lives as one form of pity</p>
     
  10. MsJacquiiC

    MsJacquiiC
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    Interesting post above jakeminickjakeminick regarding binary hypnosis. You think Wind's poem is so black and white? or Green & black as it were? LOL


    Reading these lines again... This begins to read as if a pledge of ending horror/betrayal for .... EVER! It begins to read as if some spokenword meant to break the horror/betrayal of some curse. I'm sure there are many who could partake of such a concept if offered the opportunity.

    J.
     
  11. Wind

    Wind
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    <p>Breaking a curse....Well that would fit since everyone had their own personal curse over their head.</p>
     
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