The Angel I knew

Discussion in 'Creative Traditional' started by Wind, Oct 12, 2012.

  1. Wind

    Wind
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    The Angel I Knew


    Skin so fair like snow as no comparison
    With hair so wild and eyes which shows,
    somewhat sad and yet fear-ish glow.
    How long do you plan to keep me
    by your side?
    Under you spell by sound of voice,I fall
    to my knees for you.Batter,broken and scared
    Yet even betrayed I'll stay by your side loyal
    and proud foremost happy. As I stand by your
    Side I look into your eyes.
    The turning leaves rain upon your head.
    The worse be I captivated by you.With your
    Snowy white skin
    Wild hair and twilighted eyes
    You spread your angelica wings,you took off leaving me
    But with beautiful memories,So that I never forget
    Well see each other again.
    But for now
    Your The Angel I once Knew
     
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  2. erikestabrook

    erikestabrook
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    how nice to see the description of an angel written down, my only point of dislike is that there are allot of grammar errors,
    I used to have this problem as well, it does take away from the message, the best thing you can do is refine sentences you already know as proper grammer and then maybe use a word or two different, then look up the proper spelling and punctuation/usage, this will not only expand your vocabulary but get you used to using new words in poetry, I enjoyed your poem, keep writing
     
  3. Wind

    Wind
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    WindXSaul
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    Oh yes i know of all of the grammar errors.but since i wrote this for a friend who not very well with poetry and it was a birthday present i made sure to use them short and simple...
     
  4. LE00EL

    LE00EL
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    Beautiful artwork my sisstar, with an eloquent message attached.[​IMG]
     
  5. Wind

    Wind
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    Thank you very much
     
  6. generation.boom

    generation.boom
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    That's really a very good poetry said for some beautiful person.........
    What will you feel if i used this to impress my girlfriend , i think she will be get excited after listen it.
     
  7. Wind

    Wind
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    Well please do so. And I hope she loves it.
     
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