Blogs oF MythRA's Baby Steps [B.O.M.B.S.]

Discussion in 'Creative Traditional' started by LE00EL, Oct 24, 2012.

  1. LE00EL

    LE00EL
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    "Sunnet" (English) 5-24-12

    Here’s my reminder, Ah I keep forgetting me
    I keep forgetting who I am collectively
    Here, eyes refine words, Jah I seek 4 editing
    My peace foretelling who I am in equity


    The guidance steers every possibility
    There’s validity in the All-seeing causality
    An alliance cheered: melody’s lost affinity

    Pairs & many l'lme’s within all beings’ reality

    Growing closer to a sensible perception
    When ancient wisdom becomes daily affirmations
    Knowing those were thru an intervals’ exception
    Hence the paint tents his crumbs along crazy gab formations


    How many layers does the world u half when u-n-i converse
    How many layers does your worldview have, when u remove con 1st?


    [​IMG]
     
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  2. MsJacquiiC

    MsJacquiiC
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    Saving the best two lines for last. Wise decision. And boy oh boy - These lines were deep. Trickly deep, but deep as the ocean. It took me a minute to get on the flotation device of it all LOL... I'm thinking, "What the hell is u-n-i converse?" And then had to get up on my ebonics lesson from way back in the day. Immediately I thought of U-N-I-T-Y --- your poem is about unity. And it's a sweet spoken word piece. Who'd have thought you can conceptually combine the sonnet with spoken word? Anyway - Nice write!

    I'm wondering about this last line in your 2nd stanza:
    l'lmes ==> What?! And then I get again on my ebonics and immediately think "I Need Love" by LL of course. But I'm at a loss, as it doesnt' make sense to me. Care to clarify this line please?

    Anyway - nice write! Thoroughly enjoyed this one and look forward to more from you!

    J.
     
  3. LE00EL

    LE00EL
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    Hey Ms. Jacquii, thanks so much for your reply. I do appreciate that. The "l'lmes" is a typo, and I honestly do not recall what word I placed there, I'd have to check my memory banks and archived literature lol. Apologies for that my Sisstar; there are times when I just type or scribble whatever comes out, sometimes I plan and then write. That's an awful typo too lol. Ah well, I'll clean that up if it helps makes for a better read...
     
  4. MsJacquiiC

    MsJacquiiC
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    Okay - getting ready to go rate your piece "Bad Spelling" yehehehe - Just kidding. I know exactly what you mean though - I've found typos in my work from years ago...And I like to call myself a tedious Editor LOL - It's okay though - Noone's perfect .... except for me when not making typos eh? :LOL:

    I still enjoyed your piece though - Hope you check those memory banks and get back with a fix for the typo - cause I wonder... That one word could change the entire scope of your piece and make for a sweeter read. :yes:

    J.
     
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