An Idiot's Lament

Discussion in 'Spoken Word & Freestyle' started by jakeminick, Feb 20, 2014.

  1. jakeminick

    jakeminick
    McGonagall's Ghost
    151
    5
    18
    Feb 2, 2011
    0
    You can’t change

    If you’re locked up in a cage

    Or repeating the same stage

    Gotta turn the page

    And stop looking

    At the same hated face

    It’s ok

    To use an altered state

    To break through some walls

    But to use it

    As a daily fuel

    Is like avoiding natural thought

    (Stunting)

    No wonder I am the way I am
    I’ve been soaking
    In this same bath
    For a decade
    Only getting out periodically
    To rinse the body
    And when I get back in
    I add some water
    But all that same waste of life
    Is still sitting at the bottom
    But it’s newly lined with toxins
    So I don’t notice it much
    The longer I sit
    The more it crawls up my skin
    And once again
    I’m all coated in its touch
    Yet it feels so safe
    (It blocks the open air)
    I may be soaking
    In my yester-shit
    But all I need to do
    Is sit and stare…

    And on and on it goes,
    (That water is too murky for reflection)
    I may dress and go to work
    But I keep that dirt for protection
    (Don’t let that water get cold
    or it blows a chill across the bones)
    I can sit and hug myself with friends
    And still feel I’m all alone
    But damn-it,
    I’ve taken my punishment
    Time to take another dip
    Just to recollect myself
    And then I’ll drain this tub
    Of all its contents
    (I promise)
    No wait,
    Just another minute...
    Awe fuck-it, let’s get loose -
    Submerge the head and blur the vision
    Who’s the wild man now?
    (Doin what the fuck-hell I wanna)
    And I don’t think about tomorrow
    I’m flashy with my toxic armor
    But as the suds begin to dissipate
    I feel increasingly naked
    “I wanna die” is the mantra
    In relentless self-hatred
    And as the ghosts of opportunity
    Come knocking at my spine
    It’s no surprise to my story
    The heroes die all the time


    (while this is a truth of mine. it's only one horribly depressing display of certain sides of my truth, so, feel free to leave comments :) )
     
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  2. Jearry

    Jearry
    New Member
    20
    0
    1
    Oct 8, 2013
    0
    This is really an extremely powerful piece. I don't know if it's what you intended to say, but I interpreted it as the armor we put on, the mask, every time we hang out with friends, the guilt for not being a better part of society, the fear of insanity (the line at the top about "repeating the same stage" reminded me of the ever-so-popular definition of insanity coined by Einstein), and the last few lines made me think about how some people consider suicide a coward's act and others say it takes great bravery.
     
  3. jakeminick

    jakeminick
    McGonagall's Ghost
    151
    5
    18
    Feb 2, 2011
    0
    thank you much. in a way it's about armor and addictive ways to exist. i'm glad you got all that out of it because, it's not what i meant but, sounds like some things i wud love to see in a poem. thanks again
     
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